As you read this, try asking the person sitting next to you if they are lonely. And if they don’t see you as a creepy person and they possess a heightened awareness of their own being, chances are they would likely respond, and that too in an affirmative way.
If the answer is no, take note of any brief pause, sigh, or concealed smile they may exhibit while responding, as it may indicate a reluctance to admit their loneliness.
Yes, we are all fundamentally alone with everybody.
However, we must wonder when we were ushered into a deep state of loneliness. Is there a specific historical moment when we, as a society, lost our authentic human connections, our ability to love someone in a way where we are not constantly reminded that our love is in vain or never enough in the face of utter detachment?
Was there a time when we were not alone? Or have we always been isolated and lost, drifting through life without the comforting embrace of true belonging?
These seemingly absurd questions are seldom asked. Nevertheless, they are perpetually felt every morning upon awakening and every night before we sleep. These unspoken words encapsulate the nature of the human condition, one that is inherently characterized by separation from others.
Loneliness is our permanent human condition, and yet we dread it and wish to escape it at any cost. We do everything to dispense ourselves with this state. We either indulge in hedonistic activities or immerse ourselves in the relentless pursuit of lofty goals and grand purposes.
We hold onto the hope that by keeping ourselves occupied to the point of exhaustion, we can somehow alleviate the existential anguish that accompanies solitude.
It never happens because we are condemned to be lonely.
Now the rise of chatbots such as My AI, Replika, and Bard, reflects our other quasi-effort to satisfy the human desire for connection, and meaningful communication and overcome the persistent sense of aloofness. We are forming emotional bonds with AI, going as far as marrying them and referring to AI as our ideal companion.
What a sad, funny, dystopian state of affairs. Isn’t it? With a staggering 8 billion people roaming this planet, we fail to form a genuine connection with any of them. Yet, we find ourselves believing that our interactions with non-human entities hold meaning and authenticity.
Our conviction is not rooted in our stupidity or madness, but rather in our immersion within the realm of hyperreality, a concept coined by French Philosopher Baudrillard. Hyperreality occurs when the simulated or constructed versions of reality gain dominance and influence over actual reality itself.
And when we fully embrace the simulated facades of human-like interactions and experiences offered by AI systems, the line between reality and its representations becomes so blurred that we can no longer discern between the two.
Thus our emotional involvement with AI is simply an attempt to replicate the sensation of being in the company of another person and experience it as an authentic reality.
But what if hyperreality is merely scratching the surface?
What if we are lonely because as a society, we haven’t evolved beyond the infantile notion of romantic relationships where we are still seeking love based on false projections and unrealistic expectations?
Or perhaps while in our quest for liberation from loneliness, we have got so deeply entrenched in our own narcissism that we crave AI companions who constantly reinforce our sense of superiority because they are always programmed to see us as flawless, cool, and perfect individuals.
Why would we invest emotionally in something incapable of emotions or reciprocating our feelings? It is because AI doesn’t see through our imperfections and vulnerabilities. We want unwavering support and understanding without being subjected to any criticism.
Or, what if the case is our own deep-seated fear and anxiety of exposing our true selves to fellow humans?
We perpetually carry the weight of anticipated rejection and judgment, and to protect ourselves from the pain of being turned away, we choose to gravitate toward the machines that are incapable of doing that.
But is it truly narcissism or fear, or does it reveal our own shortcomings and lack of empathy in human interaction, where individuals hesitate to open up to one another?
Maybe it is none of that.
The reality is we are a horde of wicked, twisted, and perverse individuals who seek such interactions where we subscribe to AI, even embracing questionable identities, for role-playing in romantic experiences.
We yearn for a cold union stripped of emotional baggage and commitment. We demand immediate gratification, round-the-clock and uninterrupted access to digital tools in our pursuit of fulfilling our ever-growing romantic and sexual urges.
But even if we are inherently driven by perverse desires, the issue of human loneliness that plagues our existence remains unresolved.
Because if all restrictions were lifted from our emotional lives and libidos, granting us the freedom to indulge in our darkest fantasies, we would still be inevitably consumed by despair. Not because we suddenly recognize the ethical questionability, but because the reality is that pleasure and fulfillment derived from intimacy always necessitate contrast and restriction, as aptly expounded by Freud in his works.
In a society characterized by polymorphous perversity, the longing for genuine connection would persist, for it is the very presence of limitations that gives meaning and substance to our pursuit of pleasure and happiness.
So where does it leave us? We cannot shut down AI because the problem does not lie with it. The problem lies within ourselves, in our failure to identify that enduring bonds are formed on sharing refuge within our own intricate, unpredictable, and fickle nature as human beings.
The sense of perpetual loneliness can only be transcended if we stop lamenting about it. Perhaps loneliness should be celebrated and while we do it we must rebel against the notion that our happiness hinges on becoming the object of someone else’s love story.
We escape loneliness when we embrace it.
But we don’t give sermons, we leave that job to you. However, we do wonder if there is a way to cure and embrace our loneliness.
Is there anyone who could provide us with the antidote?
We always shy away from accepting older generations’ ways of living, but sometimes it is okay to take a cheerful note from their book, their experience might be insightful in dealing with the ubiquitous loneliness that we millennials and Generation Z face today.
If the old people ever succeeded in forming authentic and meaningful relationships, it was not because they were not aware of their imperfect existence or had extraordinary social skills, or were immune to the fear of rejection. They weren’t flawless either — just take a look at the state of the world they left behind.
But they had something we all lack now- some level of courage required to approach someone. They were able to seek companionship with the risk of being vulnerable, rejected, and judged. They probably knew that all sorts of social and personal connections require a modicum of bravery and, of course, a certain amount of understanding that love is boring, monotonous, and imperfect that arises from a human’s own flawed and intricate nature.
They may have grappled with loneliness, however, their quest for connection wasn’t about finding someone to incessantly assure them of their perfection.
They just grasped the concept that love doesn’t always vanquish loneliness- and even in the presence of another, moments of solitude may persist. However, they recognized that loneliness only within companionship would not turn us into cynics, plunge us into despair, or steer us toward seeking artificial substitutes for love.
And this is what we all need now, — a bit of courage to initiate a meaningful connection with the one sitting next to us.
